Poke the Pain

“Come, let us return to the LORD; for he has torn us, that he may heal us; he has struck us down, and he will bind us up.”  Hosea 6:1 ESV

For He wounds, but He also binds; He strikes, but His hands also heal. Job 5:18 BSB

For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. James 1:3 NLT

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result. The saving of many lives.  Genesis 50:20 NASB

Seated at a rectangular plastic table adorned with a sugar jar and plenty of creamer, I begin probing.  “So …  tell me, what’s your story?” This purposefully penetrating and open-ended question is one I usually ask in the course of urban ministry. Many of the folks seated across from me, have no home, no bed, no anything.  And often, feel without hope. As other volunteers serve breakfast with all the “fixins”, along with a bottomless cup of hot coffee, I listen intently. My goal is to gently poke until I find the pain. Some share decades-old hurt or regret. Others, eye me suspiciously for possible motives, as they lift their fork for another bite of a dripping-with-syrup waffle. It’s then that I begin sharing a few of my own pain stories as well. I have come to understand that no matter the socioeconomic background, regardless of ethnicity or educational level, pain is our commonality. Some more than others, that’s true, but always, something.

Why do I ask this? Because I know that pain can either be used as a weapon in the hands of the enemy, or a tool in the hands of our Almighty, and sovereign God. As the Old Testament account of Joseph puts it, “You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.” The words didn’t ignore his years-long pain of unjust imprisonment or suffering, but it did put it in perspective. Yea, You meant to jack-up my life.  But hold on. God meant for that pain to bring about something good in my life. And very often, the enemy has used their pain to convince them of God’s “neglect” or even lack of existence.

Pain can either be used as a weapon in the hands of the enemy, or a tool in the sovereign hands of Almighty God.

Becky White

How about you? What’s your story? Is your pain point one of deep regret or childhood trauma? Is it dashed expectations that linger in your heart or widowhood or illness or a prison cell? Is your pain caused by watching the ache of someone you love? Pain is always a pivot point. Do we allow it to drive us to our knees and to greater dependence on the Lord, or allow the hurt to push us away? Away, in anger or depression or bitter unforgiveness?

As I share with the folks at The Bridge Ministry or The Columbus Dream Center, I freely admit that I don’t have answers to all the questions of “why.” But this I know, If God willingly gave the life of His Son for us, surely we can trust Him with what we do not understand. Trust Him with our pain.

The question we all must answer is, will we let our pain draw us to Him or repel us from Him?

In whose hands is your pain?

Father God, Yes, there are times when my heart is pained and raw from the realities of life. But I choose to trust You with all that comes my way. For my good and Your glory. In Jesus’ precious name, amen.

Written by Becky White for the Lord Jesus  

Tired Hands

Moses’ arms soon became so tired he could no longer hold them up. So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on. Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands. So his hands held steady until sunset. Exodus 17:12 NLT

You were wearied with the length of your way, but you did not say, “It is hopeless”; you found new life for your strength, and so you were not faint.  Isaiah 57:10 ESV

The strongest arm will fail with being long held out.

~ Matthew Henry

In this Old Testament account found in Exodus 17, Moses is in a difficult, and wearying, situation. As the Israelites battled their enemies below him, Moses stood atop the mountain, arms raised with the rod of God tightly gripped in his hands. As long as his arms remained raised, the Israelites prevailed against their enemies. But, when he lowered his arms, their enemies began to prevail. Weariness became his greatest enemy. Until his close friends stepped in. They provided a spot for him to sit, and got right in the middle of his situation by literally holding up his arms for him.

I am reminded of a couple of points in this account from Moses’ life. First, anyone can handle just about anything, as long as it’s short in duration. But trials are seldom neatly packaged with expiration dates stamped on the bottom. No. They show up and demand our near constant attention and stamina, with no idea when they’ll end. Oftentimes, we start out singing God’s praises and praying for a quick resolution, only to become wearied by the sheer length of the trial. Though we are trusting in God’s faithfulness, the length of the trial can cause weariness to become our greatest enemy.

Secondly, when facing the inevitable trials of life, we need other Believers to come alongside us, and help “hold up our arms”. Aaron and Hur were close enough and involved enough to recognize that Moses was in distress. Are we allowing others close enough to see the “real” us, the “real” challenges we’re facing? No doubt about it, it’s humbling when we allow another to get close enough to realize that we need a little arm-raising help. No one likes to admit that we’re on the cliff’s edge of growing weary and worn-out.

Are you a Moses or an Aaron today? Are you the one fainting from heaviness and sheer length of a trial or are you the instrument God has provided to help someone else? Wherever you find yourself in this O.T. account, let me encourage you, stay the course. Refuse to give up. The Lord will provide whatever, or whoever, you need to do what He’s called you to do. 

Heavenly Father, Thank You for Your wonderful provision on my behalf, providing the Aarons and Hurs just when I need them or allowing me the privilege of being an arm-lifter to someone else. I bow in worship to You, O Most High! In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen

Written by Becky White for the Lord Jesus

When the Unthinkable Becomes Reality

Listen

This I know, God is for me. In God will I praise His word; in the Lord will I praise His word.   Psalm 56:9-10a NCV

If God be for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31

Beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith…  Jude 20,21a NASB

The LORD is good, A stronghold in the day of trouble, And He knows those who take refuge in Him. Nahum 1:7 NASB

The following devotion, written a few years ago, came back to my mind and heart as a friend and I talked. Now, as then, I have no magic words to offer those who are confronting the unthinkable. Those who are facing horrific emotional pain, all without “anesthesia.” What I can do, is take your hand and place it in His, assured that He can, and will, walk you through the unthinkable.

Sometimes God calms the storm — and sometimes He rides the storm with us.

Mark Hall

The text in front of me described a tragedy of immense proportion. Quickly tapping in my friend’s phone number, she shared details of an accident and asked if I could meet her, along with the mother of the little one battling for his life. Quickly praying, I drove to the hospital with a shared ache of what this mama was facing.

Once arriving, I had no magic words to offer. No religious piety to wipe away the tragedy of the tear-stained and heartbroken mama who stood before me. Her 3-year old son will soon be gone. That piercing reality thick in his hospital room, I reached down to touch his chubby little hand and asked if I could pray. What I’m not sure, but I felt compelled to bring this little guy and his hurting mama before the throne. She nodded her head that it’s okay as I took his hand in mine and prayed…

I asked the Lord to comfort her heart, I invited Jesus into the center of the situation and spoke the Blood of Christ over the little one. And then I told God what I am telling you… “Father, I don’t know what to pray right now or what to think. Such tragedy. Such pain. I just confess outloud that I trust You and that You are good and You are faithful. Please help.”

There are times when we must simply take God’s hand and walk THROUGH things. Not over or around, but through. I wish it weren’t so but it is. And when we are confronted with tragedy or pain or dashed expectations, we must cling to the truth we know. “This I know, God is for me. It hurts so bad Father but I know You are in control. You are good and You are faithful. Help me, Lord to trust You through this. Not my emotions or the confusion swirling in my mind. But You.”

One layer that made this particular hospital visit even more wrenching is that my own baby girl died in the same hospital – though decades earlier.  The sights, the smells, the sounds and the heart-ache… all came back to me in that moment. And along with the emotional ache of empty arms came the authentic comfort that I found those years ago when I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ, as I held my own little one.

Beloved, whatever tragedy has been allowed into your life, I am so sorry for your pain. Would you talk to Him now? Unburden your heart, tell Him your pain or anger. And then say with me, “This I know – God is for me. He is good, He is faithful and I can trust Him.”

Lord Jesus, There are times when the pain is so great, if not my own, I see it in the lives of those around me. When I am tempted to trust my anxious thoughts rather than You, cause the simple truth of “This I know” to fall from my lips as I speak Your Truth over my spirit. Infuse me with power from on High. I love You Lord. In Jesus’ name Amen

 Written by Becky White for Jesus

Click here to purchase a hard copy or get a FREE pdf of the devotional, Stony Paths

* For Amber and her late son, Keatyn. Though it has now been a few years, I know the ache remains. Praying His continued comfort over you, sister.

The weight of real-world pain

I will cry out to God Most High, To God who performs all things for me. Psalm 57:2 NKJV

“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. John 14:27 NASB 1995

Stepping out of the elevator and walking down the long corridor, her stomach-ache grew as she neared the hospital room entrance. What would she find? Could she bear the sight she expected to see? Thoughts of the years long journey of watching layers of painful choices and dashed hopes, that have once again culminated in a rock-bottom experience, for someone she dearly loved, flooded her thoughts. Just before stepping into the room, she whispered a cry of “help”, to the only One able to give what was needed to walk through this emotional upheaval. The only One who understands every ache, every question, every tear still lodged in our throat. And with that silent cry to God Most High, came the soul deep answer.

“My peace I give you…”

While you may not have experienced the exact circumstance described above, I bet there are challenges that have left you speechless in prayer (with the exception of a whispered cry of “help.”) Trials that have caused you, or someone you love, to cry to God Most High. Who alone understands, and who alone can do the impossible.

Notice in the hospital-room trial, that God provided a way to walk through the emotional minefield. Not a way to avoid it. And not a promise to remove it with a wave of His divine hand. A promise of His Peace in the midst of. And by implication; His very presence in the midst of.

Gathering courage founded on His peace and assured presence, she pulled back the curtain and stepped into the hospital room. The pain and emotional ache were as she expected and more. Even as His promised peace washed over her. A palatable peace that gave the ability to stand tall in the midst of the raw reality of that hospital room. Sustaining and flooding her with a peace that passes all understanding.

Truth that can bear the weight of real-world pain.

Yes, tragedies of life do occur and must be faced. But never alone. Never apart from His promises. Promises that we can stand on and lean into. These are not just memes to be shared, but Truth that can bear the weight of real-world pain.

“My peace I give you…”

Father, Your peace literally sustains us. Every moment, with every trial we face. From the mundane to the horrific challenges of real-life. Thank You for Your gift of peace. In Jesus’ mighty name I pray, Amen.

Written by Becky White for the Lord Jesus

To help you on your journey, click here for a FREE pdf of the devotional, Stony Paths, learning to trust Him as we walk along the Stony Paths of real life, or to purchase a hard copy.

Prison Doors and Prison Walls

Bring my soul out of prison, That I may praise Your name. –Psalm 142:7b NKJV

In my distress I called to the LORD, and He answered and set me free. – Psalm 118:5 BSB

It’s a routine, yet bursting with meaning, procedure. Grasping the thick handle, we open the heavier-than-it-appears door, walk to the counter and exchange pleasantries as we slip our coats and belts into a plastic bin and slide it to the person behind the counter. Walking through the metal detector, we then hand- over our ID and sign under the “volunteer” column of the lined paper. After getting our hand stamped, we walk through another heavy door and wait as the group of us pause for someone to buzz us through yet another heavier-than-it-appears door. And so begins our evening of serving the Lord by serving those behind physical prison walls and prison doors.

As I have had the privilege of listening to and sharing with the ladies behind those hauntingly thick walls, barbed-wire fences, and heavy doors, I am reminded that prison walls come in all shapes and sizes. Physical walls that we can trace our hand across and feel the cold, sterile concrete, but there are also walls and doors that bind us emotionally, spiritually, relationally, and mentally.  The ravages of abuse, addictions, hurt and regret, to name just a few.

True freedom, soul-deep freedom, is possible, even if thick walls and heavy doors surround us.

Jesus Christ came to set the captive free, to proclaim liberty and announce freedom to those who are captive and bound. He says to us (those who admit that we are bound) “Come out into freedom, leave the darkness and walk in the light.” Whether we are bound by addiction, unforgiveness, anger, fear, or shame, He can set us free, even if/when physical walls surround us. True freedom is found in Christ alone. Not in a location. Not in ideal circumstances.

Freedom is found in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, not lack of heavy doors and thick walls.

There are “free men” living as prisoners to their passions/addictions/bitterness or chained to the shame/pain of their past. And there are “incarcerated” folks living in soul-deep freedom.  Understanding their usefulness to the Lord isn’t dependent on circumstances or location or concrete walls.

We are limited only by our choice to surrender to Him or our pain, to Him or our bitterness, to Him or our anger. Surrendering to Him or our continued cycle of bad choices, blame and self-imposed bondage. Freedom is found in a personal relationship with Christ, not lack of heavy doors and thick walls. I have seen it first-hand as I’ve listened to the stories shared behind those prison walls. And though I’ve never been bound by physical walls, I was once a woman who walked in chains of bondage just as restraining as concrete and barbed wire. But He set me free, Oh, thank You Jesus, I am free!

Are you? He stands ready to pardon and redeem. Call out to Him now.

Father God, our Deliverer and Burden-bearer, please enable us to surrender completely to You and Your will. Help us walk in the genuine freedom that Your Son purchased for us with His Blood  on the Cross. Regardless of our circumstances. Thank You.  In Jesus’ name, Amen

Written by Becky White for the Lord Jesus

Scripture references used:

He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives, And the opening of the prison to those who are bound. Isaiah 61:1b NKJV

The LORD sets the prisoners free, the LORD opens the eyes of the blind, the LORD lifts those who are weighed down. Psalm 146:b-8a BSB

This is what the LORD says: “Stand at the crossroads and look. Ask for the ancient paths: ‘Where is the good way?’ Then walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. But they said, ‘We will not walk in it!’ Jeremiah 6:16 BSB      

The Lord has sent me to announce freedom for prisoners. Luke 4:18b CEV

The LORD sets the prisoners free. Psalm 146:7a BSB

I will say to the prisoners, ‘Come out in freedom,’ and to those in darkness, ‘Come into the light.’ Psalm 149:9 NLT

Hebrew: Freedom: A sending away, a letting go, a release, pardon, complete forgiveness. From aphiemi; freedom; pardon.

Hebrew: Rest: Resting place  

Salsa and Life

“Lord, do You not care…?” Luke 10:40 ESV (38-42 for entire story)

Homemade Salsa

“Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.”  Job 13:15 NKJV

This year, our daughter’s small backyard garden produced a bumper tomato crop, so with great anticipation, we set aside an entire day for me to show her the finer points of canning homemade salsa.  As we washed, diced and jarred the tomatoes, onions and peppers, we talked about life and family and our world. In the midst of it all, she asked one or two heavy questions that still linger in my thoughts. Before I share the questions, allow me to give you part of the short answer I gave her. “I don’t know. But I know we can trust Him.”

With obvious emotion she asked, “Mom, why did God allow a woman with several young children to die of cancer?” The heartfelt question that came amid the dicing of tomatoes and jalapenos, demanded more than a memorized theological answer. Keeping my hands busy with the task of canning, I thought/prayed how to answer her question. Even as I was secretly thankful she intuitively understood the larger issue of God’s control over all circumstances. Even tragedy.

Have such questions ever lodged in your heart? Have you ever thought deeply about why a divorce or why singleness? Why an addiction or why a betrayal? Why financial ruin or a broken relationship? Why the death of a child or the death of a hoped-for dream? Pain begs for an answer.

In today’s verses, we see two contrasting examples of facing the inevitable pain of real life. When Martha was confronted with the minor irritation of no help in the kitchen, she spoke almost harshly to the Lord Jesus, when she asked, “Lord, don’t You care?” By contrast, we read of Job, who has just been given the news that everything he owns has been stolen by an invading army, and all his servants killed. As this news hits his ears and before there’s time to digest the reality, another servant shows up to tell him the devastating news that all his children have perished in a freak accident. (Read Job 1 and 2). Job’s first response is to worship God. He knew he dare not give priority to his emotions; he spoke out what he knew to be true rather than allow his emotions to do the leading. A couple of chapters and several more trials later, we hear Job say, *“Though the Lord slay me, yet will I trust Him.”

Perhaps Martha was too self-focused as she rushed and hurried and grumbled… Whatever the reason, she snapped at the Lord Himself and accused Him of not caring.

Though Job didn’t understand the why of his horrific pain, he knew his God and he knew His character. So even in the midst of such guttural ache … he trusted.

Back to my daughter’s heartbreaking question – I could have offered to bullet-point Bible verses that academically explain God’s sovereign control over all things, or sin’s impact on our broken world, or God’s ability to bring good out of even the vilest circumstance, etc. But I did none of those. Now wasn’t the time. I admitted to her that I did not know the why of such tragedy, but I did know that we could trust God with it. Reminding her of the story that she’s heard repeated since childhood. Of her own brother and sister who died as babies, and how such tragedy taught me (still teaches me) to trust my Father God even when, (especially when), I don’t understand.

The best answer to a hurting heart is simply, “I am so sorry for your pain.”

Becky White

The truth is we may never know the why of a particular trauma this side of eternity. It’s enough to know our God is good and faithful and He can be trusted. Even with, and in, our pain. If He gave the life of His Son for us, surely we can trust Him when we don’t understand.

Father, I know You are good, and You are faithful, but there are times when life’s pain blinds us of that truth. Please enable us to rest in You as we walk through tragedy, or as we walk with others in their pain. We choose to trust You even when we don’t understand. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I lay my “whys” before Your cross in worship kneeling, my mind too numb for thought, my heart beyond all feeling: And worshipping, I realize that I in knowing You don’t need a “why”.

– Ruth Bell Graham

Written by Becky White for the Lord Jesus

*Some may say that God did not cause Job’s pain, but surely, we must agree that his trial came as a direct result of God’s permission.

Mr. (or Miss) Atlas?

The Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. Romans 8:26-27 NKJV

Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you.  Psalm 55:22a

Recently, while driving to work and mentally preparing for the day ahead, I began talking to the Lord about specific challenges confronting those I love. Ranging from minor irritations to gut wrenching trials, I poured my heart out to Him.

Throughout the conversation, I admitted that I was at a loss about how/what to pray for many of the issues, but I knew that He was faithful to do what was the very best and to do what must be done. Reminding Him (and myself) of His Word that says we don’t know how to pray as we should, but the Holy Spirit will intercede for us. Though nothing outwardly had changed, I felt His peace as I laid my life’s load into His strong, omnipotent hands. (Not to worry, tomorrow will have brand new challenges to pray about!)

During the process of unburdening my heart, as I drove through the thick morning traffic, a memory of decades past washed over me. A memory of what felt like the weight of the world and the lie I had believed concerning prayer.  Promise not to laugh and I’ll share it with you.

There was a time when I felt that the whole outcome of whatever and whoever I was praying for, depended on me. On my prayers. On me knowing the exact words to say.  As if everything would fall apart if I dropped the prayer ball for a moment of time. Not only is that a lie, it’s exhausting. And I hate to admit, it’s prideful. And it’s anything but trusting in God.

Have you ever believed that lie?

Like Mr. Atlas, pictured bent over with the weight of the world in his hands. We can feel as if all the weight of prayers’ answers are in our hands. How we pray. What we pray. How long we pray. How often we pray. Our faith or lack of… As I said, exhausting.

The truth is, everything depends on Him, not me. Not you. Whew! Yes, we are to pray and keep on praying. Believe and keep on believing. Yes, we are to call to Him and He will answer. We are to ask specifically and with thankfulness. And then walk away, as we trust His will and His ways. Always with a willingness to defer to His will and whatever outcome will bring Him the most glory.

Prayer is weakness, leaning on omnipotence.

– W.S. Boyd

As promised, a new day has brought new challenges, but His faithfulness remains.  He who formed the ear, does He not hear, and He who formed the eye, does He not see? Yes. On all counts. Let’s choose to rest in His ability to hold the world and all our problems in His hands.  Whew, we can stand now! 😉

My Father and my God, I laugh at the absurdity of thinking I can carry the weight of my problems, let alone the world’s! Please grant me wisdom for how and what to pray and the peace of knowing You take my feeble attempts and turn them to answers that are beyond my imagination. In Jesus’ mighty name I pray, Amen.

Written by Becky White for the Lord Jesus

Leverage your Pain

I will proclaim Your faithfulness to all generations. Psalm 89:1b

…So that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. 1 Peter 2:9b AMPC

As for you, what you intended against me for evil, God intended for good, in order to accomplish a day like this—to preserve the lives of many people. Genesis 50:20 Berean Standard Bible

Recently, a  *friend and I were discussing life, with all its ups and downs, when mid-sentence, she stopped talking and put both hands to her mouth. Then gingerly reaching out with one hand, she gently touched my very obvious, now 3-year-old scar, from emergency open-heart surgery. Though having academically known about the event that nearly took my life, it became incredibly real to her at this moment. She hugged me and we talked of God’s faithfulness, even through trials. We continued on discussing some of those trials in more detail. I ended by sharing something I often say to the folks we have the privilege of serving through various urban ministries; let God leverage your pain for His glory.

We all have pain, don’t we? Pain from what’s been done to us, pain from the regret of what we’ve done, or a combination of the two. We experience pain by the sheer reality of living in this fallen world. Death, despair, loneliness, loss, illness, betrayal… I could go on. And when pain comes (not if, but when), we have a choice to make. Will we let it go to waste by indulging in self-pity or bitterness or destructive thought patterns of why me? As followers of Christ, the choice is clear, we turn to God for help and then ask ourselves, how do we leverage this pain for His glory?

We leverage pain by allowing God to use it. All of it. Waste nothing. Tell others what He’s walked you through. Remind them that because of Him, they are not alone. Be real about your sleepless nights or your tears or the heartache or your questions of why or dashed expectations and hurt. Take the weapon of pain out of the enemy’s hand and let God use it for His glory.

“He uses our problems for His miracles. This was my first lesson in learning to trust Him completely…”

– Corrie Ten Boom

It’s our choice.

So, what’s your story? Where has pain had the last word? What has nearly drowned you in self-pity or depression or bitterness? Will you be willing, to be willing, to hand Him your pain and leverage it? Pray with me – Father God, I hand you my pain and heartache. All that I’ve walked through. All my pain and all my regrets. Would You use it? Leverage it? For Your glory? I am humbled that You are willing to use me and my life to impact others for Jesus. In His name I pray. Amen.

Written by Becky White for the Lord Jesus

*Thank you Mary Jane! You, sister, are a great blessing!

My Story for His glory

When God Whispers

I listen carefully to what God the LORD is saying, for he speaks peace to his faithful people. But let them not return to their foolish ways. Psalm 85:8 NLT

It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.  Lamentations 3:26  BSB

You will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13 NASB 1977

Our youngest granddaughter often speaks in a near whisper. Her soft, sweet, voice forces me to lean in and listen intently or I’ll miss what she’s saying. It may be that she wants to impress us with her latest Crayola creation or she might be asking Grandma to make popcorn, it takes intentional, purposefully listening to know for sure. Of course, some of our grandkids are quite the opposite, their near shouts have no trouble being heard and understood!

In human communication, when we’re faced with a whisperer, we usually quiet ourselves, lean in and even cup our hands to our ears to glean every word. There are times our Heavenly Father “whispers.” Purposefully. It seems He uses what I call spiritual whispering as a means to draw our hearts to seek Him. When we can barely hear, we naturally draw closer and lean in more intently. When it’s God’s voice and Presence that appears silent or in a bear whisper, this motivates us to slow down, quiet ourselves, and seek Him as we listen for His voice found in His Word.

In addition to whispering, there are times when we hear nothing but silence. Oswald Chambers put it this way, “God’s silence is not a sign of abandonment but a sign of trust, inviting a deeper, more intimate understanding of Himself.” He suggests that when God is silent, He is not absent, but is instead preparing an individual for a greater revelation and strengthening their faith through quiet trust. Will I trust Him and His Word even when I hear nothing but crickets?

Yes, there are times when God’s voice shouts loudly through His Word, His people and circumstances – like a few of our grandkiddos that shall remain nameless – so that we have no trouble “hearing” His voice. But often, we encounter silence or a faint whisper. It’s at those times that He’s encouraging us to seek Him and lean in by getting alone, reading His Word and then trusting. Whether silence or a whisper, He has purpose in it.

“Sometimes when I open my Bible to read, a verse leaps off the page and I know God is speaking to me. Sometimes I read and nothing seems to be illuminated. Sometimes I pray and have the keen sense that He is listening to every word and will answer me. Sometimes when I pray, I have no awareness that He’s anywhere around. Sometimes when I go to church or draw aside for some quiet reflection, I have the overwhelming sense that Jesus is right beside me. At other times in the exact same settings, I have no conscious awareness of His presence at all. And I know by each experience — as I read my Bible and pray and work and worship — that He is teaching me to live by FAITH, not by my feelings.”

― Anne Graham Lotz

Father, You are worth all the time and effort it takes to slow down, seek You and listen for Your Voice. As we seek You, You have promised to be found by us. Thank you! In Jesus might name I pray. Amen.

Written by Becky White for the Lord Jesus.

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I Only Have …

“And they said to Him, “We have here only five loaves and two fish.” He said, “Bring them here to Me.”” Matthew 14:17-18 NKJV

For a quick refresher, Jesus’ disciples were confronted with an impossible situation, and they knew it. 5000 men, along with their wives and children needed a meal, in a time and place without Door-Dash or Uber Eats. When the disciples presented Jesus with the situation, Jesus said, “You feed them.” The disciples explained, “I don’t think You understand Jesus, we only have a few Ritz crackers and some sardines!” (Becky’s translation).  Jesus replied, “Bring what you have to Me.”

I know … it’s unlikely we’ll ever need to feed a stadium full of hungry folks. Yet, each of us are faced with our own versions of circumstances when “all we have,” isn’t enough. When we look our trial full in the face and know we lack what it takes to walk through it or fix it.

Times, when the diagnosis has been confirmed, when the divorce papers have been signed, when the casket lid has closed, when depression engulfs us or when the 2am phone call comes … when we face our own version of “I only have…”  What do we do? We give Him what we have. Trusting Him with the impossible.

Even when all we have is …

Brokenness.

Disappointment.

Fear of what if.

Heartache.

Failure.

Rejection.

Questions.

More month than money.

Shattered expectations.

We give Him what we have as an act of trust. Lifting our hands in whispered prayer, “Here it is, Father. All that I have is Yours. Make a way where there seems to be no way, I turn this over to You.” Without attempting to figure out how He can possibly “feed 5000” with our meager, hot-mess offerings, we simply trust Him. Once we’ve given all we have to Him, let’s open His Word. For encouragement, Psalms anywhere will do. For wisdom, Proverbs is our go-to place. Let’s intentionally listen for His voice of direction or comfort or even conviction. In His great faithfulness, He will meet our needs in ways that are beyond our imagination.

In the end, Jesus not only enabled the disciples to feed all the folks in need, but just to show us how He delights in moving on the behalf of those who wait for and trust Him, there were 12 baskets of sardines and crackers left over! A gift basket for each disciple.

Let’s be willing to offer Him what we have, and He’ll turn our crumbs into a feast of His faithfulness for all to see. Whatever the outcome, He is good and He is faithful.

All I had to offer Him was brokenness and strife, but He made something beautiful of my life.

– Bill Gather (Something Beautiful song lyrics)

Father God, I offer back to You all I have – my meager strength, lack of wisdom and hot-mess situation … and thank You ahead of time for doing the impossible. I love You Lord. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Written by Becky White for the Lord Jesus

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